Full Chapter List: While Breaking Down, Cheers At The Same Time

Everyone agrees - Jenny Rosen is a national treasure About the original cover From the preface A fully developed mammal I forgot I wrote this The 6 times I lost my shoes Part 1 The 6 times I lost my shoes Part 2 That time I bought my dog a "finger condom" Rainbow Flames All the reasons I won't come to your party Part 1 All the Reasons I Won't Come to Your Party Part 2 Samuel L. Jackson Wants to Kill Me Part 1 Samuel L. Jackson Wants to Kill Me Part 2 How do dogs know they have that thing? These sayings leave out a lot of truth An open letter to health insurance companies I'll never leave the house again Things we do to calm monsters Part 1 Things we do to calm monsters Part 2 Things we do to calm monsters Part 3 Things we do to calm monsters Part 4 Things we do to calm monsters Part 5 The Golden Age Awkwardness brings us together Part 1 Awkwardness brings us together Part 2 That time I let a lizard haunt me with a bicycle horn honking Part 1 That time I let a lizard haunt me with a bicycle horn honking Part 2 That time I let a lizard haunt me with a bicycle horn honking Part 3 We are who we are until we no longer exist Introverts Alliance! My dentist hates me Am I still alive? The Secret to a Long-lasting Marriage So I spend money to beat the crap out of myself? Part 1 So I paid to beat the crap out of myself? Part 2 Anxiety is a clock I’ve never seen but am forever lost My 8 billionth argument this week with Victor Sometimes there’s beauty in the brokenness Daryl, no one wants your handwritten “one for one, free massage” coupon I feel it deep in my bones Editing is hell, but luckily it’s mostly the editors who screw it up Part 1 Editing is hell, but luckily it’s mostly the editors who screw it up Part 2 The first satanic ritual I witnessed in my life Broken thing(s) My house is in disgrace because I cleaned it I am a magpie I was "divorced and drifting" without a paddle Eclipse Not the movie "The Twilight Saga", but another Part 1 Not the movie "The Twilight Saga," but a different kind of Part 2 Not the movie "The Twilight Saga," but a different kind of Part 1 Not the movie "The Twilight Saga," but a different kind of Part 2 Startup ideas for Shark Tank Weird new weather patterns Soul Acknowledgments